Someone who isn’t afraid of sending another text if I don’t respond, calling me if she thinks something’s wrong, or telling me straight up how she really feels even when she’s unsure if it’s mutual. I want someone to genuinely give a shit about me and show me what it’s like to be treated right, for once. I guess that’s too much to ask for.

at work im the happy bubbyl girl that makes everyone smile and just is always happy or silly cuz im over tired or i just wanna go home. ive only been working there for 2 weeks and today i had a mental break down and went outside and sat and cried and i saw that people at work didnt know how to respond. they just looked at me and asked what was wrong but they didnt know how to handle me being not happy to put it simply and it got me thinking, am i really that good of an actress that ive been able to convince people that i never get sad and no matter what life throws at me ill have a smile on my face? it just weird knowing that its so easy for me to put on front and have people believe im perfectly okay but as every moment passes im fighting tears and im questioning if i want to keep living. its just scary knowing the people i see everyday will never really know me